Did you ever notice how easy it is to get all worked up over something if one assumes the worst about it?

For instance, someone you like tells you they can’t make it to some event, and unresourceful thoughts about why they can’t make it appear out of nowhere, taking you down some rather tortuous paths. These thoughts could include

– that person does not like me any more

– that person is upset with me

– that person is more interested in something or someone else

and so on.

Now, if we give these thoughts any value and pay attention to them, they often get all excited and bring even more unresourceful thoughts to the party. Unfortunately, with all these thoughts and their associated emotions/feelings circulating around inside us, the party can quickly turn into a funeral or worse.

It does not take long for these thoughts, (especially when their cohort of feelings such as anger, sadness, pain, etc. is present), to generate a pretty miserable state of mind and heart. We get stressed out and that leads to even more miserable feelings, as well as health issues.

The question which arises is what can one do when these sorts of thoughts appear. Some philosophies talk about understanding that our thoughts are not us, and often not real. That’s a good start, but what makes it harder for many is that these thoughts have so much energy because there are all those associated feelings. Feelings can make a thought which we would normally dismiss as silly seem very real and worthy of all our attention.

Applying logical analysis to thoughts is also a lot easier when those thoughts are not charged with emotional energy.

My suggestion is to take a four step approach:

1. Notice the thoughts in a conscious fashion, perhaps even writing them down so they appear in some sort of tangible form.

2. Notice what emotions and feelings arise in concert with those thoughts.

3.  Use a technique for releasing unresourceful feelings, such as AER (Awareness, Expression, Resolution) to take the charge off the feelings.

4.  Apply some logical analysis technique, such as Byron Katie’s “The Work” to see if there is any truth to the thoughts or if they are really just speculations which serve us no good.

Using this simple but effective approach, you should be able to start to notice which thoughts are useful to you and which ones are not. Those which are the result of some deeper fears or negative beliefs about self-worthiness will start to lose their grip as you drain the energy from them.

I wish you well on this journey. 🙂

Copyright 2009 Robert S. Vibert, all rights reserved